Snap, Crackle, Pop!
by Lucky Pierre
Summary: In TV Land, three friends struggle through their own battles: Crackle is always running from the cops and drug lords, Pop fights his own battles in his mind after the war, and Snap tries to take care of them all while discovering his own feelings.
1. Chapter 1

It was the first sunny day in a week of rain for TV Land. The overcast dark clouds seemed to put a damper on everyone, which wasn't helped by a report of weakened ratings. _Those damn reality shows_, thought Snap, w_hy would you ever want reality television?_

"Oh Snap! We're almost there!" exclaimed Crackle from behind the wheel.

Snap squinted through the sunlight and saw it, the giant sign: WALTER REED MEMORIAL HOSPITAL. He smiled wide at the thought of a reunion with Pop, the essential third member of the Rice Crispies trio. Despite all the happy memories, Snap's smile faultered at his worries of the future. The war had come down hard on Pop especially, it seemed, and when Snap and Crackle had met him at the airstrip homecoming they had hardly recognized him. Snap prayed that six weeks of intensive treatment at Walter Reed had miraculously cured him, but he knew the road to normality would be a long and hard one for all three of them.

It appeared that Snap's prayers were in vain; as soon as the two pals entered into the room containing him, Pop had been too busy chasing a nurse while screaming incoherently.

"Oh, dear!" Crackle blushed, a hand rising to his mouth.

Apparently Snap had stronger beliefs of hope. "Come on, Pop, let's get you home."

"HOOOME?" Pop screeched out, finally turning around to face his friends while raising a twisted fist into the air. "Why! This is my home now!"

"Pop," Crackle exclaimed, "You remember us! Your best friends? It's time to come home with us now..." His head swerved around nervously as a distant alarm bell sounded.

"FIRE IN THE HOLE!", Pop yelled out as he jumped on Snap and they both fell to the ground.

"Fuck this, I'm not getting arrested again!" declared Crackle as he grabbed a nearby wheelchair and threw both Snap and Pop into the seat and wheeled them out to the car. "Get in, bitches! We gotta go!" In a flash, Crackle was speeding off as a team of black male nurses exploded from the doors, shaking their heads as the brakes squealed. "Damn cartoons... Think they can get away with anything..." mumbled the nurse who rolled the discarted wheelchair back into the hospital.

"I'm scared!" Snap screamed in the passenger seat, running his hands to his cheeks in fear.

"SHUT UP!" Crackle shouted, raising his fist. He would have punched him if he didn't have to swerve past a school bus full of children.

Pop had been unusually quiet in the back, his eyes shifting as he muttered quietly about "yellow fever" and the evil "wog." Snap only looked to him with a concerned look on his face.

A snippit of "Gin and Juice" played from Crackle's pocket, and he swerved the car into the other lane to reach his cell phone. At the sudden noise, Pop began screaming and rocking back and forth.

"QUIET BACK THERE! This is a business call! Hey Snap, will you shut him up? Yeah, sorry about that Fred- uh huh? Oh yeah, I got it alright..."

Snap rolled his eyes at Crackle's "business" and concerned himself with shushing Pop. It sounded as if Pop had been doing a lot of screaming lately, so it didn't take long for the outburst to turn into a hoarse whimpering. Crackle ended his conversation as he turned on the exit for TV Land. "Listen, Snap," he started, "I've got a quick business call tonight, just- Oh, don't give me that look yet, I'll be back before nine! I've just got to run down the road and deliver a package but I promise I won't be gone long. I'll help you put him to bed... Looks like we'll have to keep tying him to the bed afterall."


	2. Chapter 2

So life in TV Land moved up and over from there. Not to say that the beginning wasn't tough. The first few weeks Crackle and Snap had to resort to tying Pop down to the bed. Just the very thought brought Snap to shudders, and even Crackle, for all of his tough exterior, seemed phazed when the screaming began.

A week or so after Pop seemed to calm down, Snap made a shocking discovery while giving his friend a much needed sponge bath. "Lift your arms up for me, yeah, like that... Oh goodness, what are-...OH GOD!" Snap's eyes nearly popped out of his head as he discovered what appeared to be track marks on Pop's arms... a mark that can only be made by one evil.

"CRAAAAAAAAACKLEEEEE!", Snap screamed. His friend couldn't help but awaken and stumble in from across the hallway.

"Sweet Jesus, Snap, what's all the commotion about?"

"What in the HELL have you been doing to Pop?"

"I don't know what you've been smokin-"

"Don't you EVEN start with me! I know what these marks are... they're from heroin! What the FUCK have you been doing?!" Snap seethed with anger at Crackle.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa... That is his medication, there buddy. I got it from the doctor!" cooly explained Crackle, hoping Snap would leave it at that. But he didn't.

"DR. BACH ALLAY IS NOT A REAL DOCTOR! HE SELLS SMACK OUT OF A BACK ALLEY, HENCE THE NAME. I can't believe you!" Tears began to form in Snap's eyes. He couldn't believe Crackle could be such a douche. "Giving Pop heroin to stop his screaming was a real bitch-ass thing to do!"

"But Snap, I..."

"GET OUT!"

And so Crackle grabbed his gat and ran, much like from the cops.

That was over a month ago by now, however, and Pop was doing fine with doses of methadone instead. Snap and Crackle were speaking again, but only the shortest, curt sentences possible.

The sun dawned on the horizon of TV Land, and Snap decided that this would be the day when he would finally bring Pop to work with him in the bakery...


End file.
